By Adeusi Anthony Kay
It wasn’t just another random Saturday. It was a special Saturday, the first Saturday of the month. That was the visiting day for the students of Police Secondary School Akure.
On days like this, the meals from the kitchen would be special. The beans in the morning will be well cooked, the stew for the rice in the afternoon; superb, usually Jollof Rice at night with chicken or beef or eggs are usually excellent as well. All these, in addition to the fact that there was usually excess food to go round.
The reason is not far fetched. It’s the visiting day and parents go extra lengths to cook surplus meals for their kids. Can you blame anyone of us for taking the Liberty to eat as much as our stomachs and bowels will allow us to eat it not to eat?
The conditions of the restrooms are usually horrible on days like this and I never envied any class assigned to clean all the mess on Sunday mornings.
To relieve yourself of your bowels sometimes, a man will need to do “shot-put”. Shot putting is an auxiliary means of using the bushes, or oblivious cum close-ended spaces to release the bowels.
You see, my school wasn’t an ajebo school. It is Militaryesque, So we basically lived ghetto lifestyles.
Our school has a building that is called an “ultramodern laboratory”, which in my subjective honesty was standard. One of the halls in fact was used by Catholic students to host masses.
My parents had just paid me a visit. I had done justice to many of the delicacies, and now I was pressed. It was past 3:00 PM, the toilet already had many visitors and there was no space to do my thing. There wasn’t any respectable Bush to do “shot put” and so the best place to pass something out with dignity was to pay a rent free visit to the laboratory. I decided to make use of a room, in a secluded corner but as usual and in all honesty, I intended to park my thing and dispose when I was done.
Now, it so happened that not everyone was like me. The thing with short putting was that there was no sane rule that regulated the act itself among the rule breakers (of course shot putting is a standard school offence). People don’t park their stuff from the lab like I do. The authorities got exasperated, and enacted a policy.
They constituted a committee made up of juniors who are to keep a watchful eye on the laboratory. The authorities had no trust for the seniors believed to be responsible for many of the transgressions on school premises. No one knew when these vigilantes conducted their patrols, no one knew who was on duty, no one knew the members of the committee in fact.
On this particular Saturday anyway, I didn’t care one bit that I may be caught. I was pretty confident I’ll be able to do my stuff, pack and be done without any incidents. And so I paid a visit to the laboratory on this special Saturday.
